They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I am there. My staff is there. It looks like we’re all headed to the looney-bin together.
“Her Majesty” as she was introduced to me, is a Roberts Arrow 14 spindle spinner/plyer built somewhere around the early 20’s. I was under the impression the title was a pet name, a moniker bestowed as a testament to her supreme power and poise.
Nope. “Her Majesty” is a disparaging, taunting label ripe with sarcasm for this persnickety, hoity-toity temper-tantrum of a machine. If you’re going to call her “Her Majesty”, you have to say it in the tone of a 13 year-old boy referring to his little sister who just got away with not doing chores because she has to go to dance practice. Most days, I have a hard time referring to her as anything but Fussy-Mcfussy Pants.
To take a fleece from sheep to yarn, you must first shear the animal. By all indications, some farmers choose to do this by first herding their flock into the workshop and rolling the sheep around in the wood shavings under the table saw, then a quick trip through last year’s rotting leaf pile for good measure. (The milling process will not magically dissolve all that vegetable matter…you either have to pick it out before you bring your fleece to us or expect it to end up in your finished yarn. Pretty much.) (Sorry, I digress. Back to the process.)
We gently wash the fleece to get it clean. We lovingly spread the fleece on racks to dry. We put the fleece through the picker to open up the staple. We feed the fleece in to the carder and tenderly coax it into sliver. We painstakingly guide it through the pin drafter to line up the fibres and make them presentable for… “Her Majesty”.
There are many variables to be decided before we can even approach Her Majesty. What is the weight of the roving we are working with? How many twists per inch is suitable?What weight of yarn has the customer requested? How many plies will there be? This in turn determines the speed of the back roller, the speed of the front roller, and the speed of the spindles. The roving must be presented in a perfectly tidy and suitable coil. It must be fed “just so” over the dowels, under the rollers, through the aprons and the eye and finally though the traveller. Her Majesty is a ring spinner. Things have to be just so.
And we think we have it all good, hit the start and she laughs! Cackles even! Spits the roving back in our face. If she had arms, they would be folded, a head, it would be tilted up and off to the right in disgust. A “humph” in distaste of our mortal efforts.
And so we try again.
We adjust slightly, tweak a bit here, fiddle a bit there. Try again.
Every once in a while, she will actually spin something. A little tease just to keep our hopes up. Something to encourage us there is hope.
We are Charlie Brown. She is Lucy with the football. Please bare with us as we struggle to figure out a way to get her cooperation.